Why Letting Kids Handle Hard Things Is Good for Their Mental Health

Bluebird Therapy Center Blog
by Bluebird Clinical Team

Whether it’s homework stress, friendship drama, or tension with teachers, every child will face challenges at some point during the school year. As a parent, watching your child struggle can stir up anxiety, frustration, and self-doubt.

At Bluebird Therapy Center, with seeing clients in New Jersey and New York, our child therapists work closely with families to strengthen resilience, confidence, and coping skills. Below, we share why letting your child experience difficulties—without rushing to “fix” everything—is an important part of their mental health and development.

Why Do Parents Struggle When Kids Face Challenges?

When kids feel anxious or overwhelmed, parents often feel unsettled too. You might wonder:

• Did I prepare my child well enough?

• Am I doing something wrong as a parent?

Interestingly, your child is asking themselves similar questions: “Can I handle this?” “Will I be okay?”

Children often look to their parents for cues. For example, when a toddler approaches a tall slide at the playground, they usually glance back to see their parent’s reaction. If they see a calm smile and hear, “You’ve got this,” they are more likely to go down the slide. If they sense fear or hesitation, they may pull back.

Jumping in to rescue your child feels good in the moment—for both of you—but over time, it can unintentionally prevent your child from developing emotional resilience.

Why It’s Important for Kids to Experience Difficulties

The more kids face situations that don’t go their way, the more chances they have to build resilience.

Resilience helps kids develop:

• Confidence

• Bravery

• Courage to try new things

• A strong sense of self

At Bluebird Therapy Center, our child and teen therapists often remind parents: real growth happens when kids sit with discomfort and discover they can move through it.

Common Parenting Mistakes When Helping Kids

Many parents understandably want life to be easy for their children. But protecting kids from every bump in the road can actually send the opposite message: You can’t handle this.

Some common mistakes include:

• Stepping in too quickly. For example, removing your child from summer camp or soccer practice because it makes them anxious.

• Smoothing out every difficulty. This prevents kids from practicing problem-solving and coping skills.

Since anxiety often stems from difficulty tolerating uncertainty, kids actually need opportunities to face uncertainty in safe, supportive ways.

5 Helpful Ways Parents Can Support Kids Through Challenges

1. Regulate your own emotions. Kids pick up on your energy. Stay outwardly calm, even if you feel anxious inside.

2. Send the message: “You’ve got this.” Avoid rescuing your child from hard situations. Show them you believe in their competence.

3. Let them sit with hard emotions. Anxiety and discomfort are normal—and temporary. Allowing kids to feel these emotions builds tolerance.

4. Validate, don’t fix. Instead of problem-solving right away, acknowledge feelings:
   “I hear you. Lunch was hard today. That makes sense.” Then pause and let them process.

5. Create safe chances to be brave. Examples:

   • Younger kids: Saying thank you to a store clerk.

   • School-age kids: Walking part of the way to a friend’s house.

   • Teens: Applying for a job they might not get.

Each of these experiences builds resilience and confidence.

When Is It More Than Just a Temporary Struggle?

Parents should watch for changes in key areas of a child’s life, such as:

• Social connections

• Physical health (eating/sleeping habits)

• Academic performance

• Emotional regulation

If challenges spill over into multiple areas—for example, your child pushes through soccer practice but is so anxious they can’t sleep or eat—it may be time to seek professional support.

How Bluebird Therapy Center Can Help

At Bluebird Therapy Center, we provide compassionate child therapy in NJ and NY designed to help kids build resilience, manage anxiety, and strengthen emotional well-being.

We offer:

• Individual therapy for kids and teens

• Family therapy sessions to improve communication and support at home

• School-based support and advocacy to help kids thrive in the classroom

📍 Conveniently located in Northern New Jersey and New York, we proudly serve families across Bergen County, Passaic, and surrounding areas.

👉 Ready to give your child the tools to thrive? Book an appointment today with a licensed Bluebird therapist.

Part of Our Back-to-School Parenting Series

Looking for more expert guidance on supporting your child’s mental health? Explore our Bluebird Therapy Center Blog for tips on anxiety, stress management, and family wellness.