Dear Therapist: Navigating Workplace Relationships

Dear Therapist,

I need your guidance. I’ve started noticing feelings for a male coworker at my job. He’s a supervisor on a different team, so he isn’t my boss, and we’ve only spoken a few times—but there’s a spark. The thing is, I’m married and I don’t want anything to happen. I value my marriage, my professional reputation, and the sense of stability in my life.

I want to navigate this situation in a healthy, professional way, without making things awkward or causing alarm at work. What boundaries can I put in place that feel natural but protect me and my marriage?

Thanks for the question! This is a actually a lot more common then people realize, so know that you not alone in this. Its normal to not know if a particular interaction was just work, or something more. We all want to impress at work and its easy to not know if you are on the receiving end of wanted or unwanted attention.
The best thing for you to do in these scenarios would be to put in place Healthy Boundaries.

We at Bluebird Therapy Center can help by discussing you particular situation and help you create a set of workplace boundaries which will best fit your needs.

7 Healthy Boundaries for Workplace Attractions

Here are seven practical strategies to maintain professionalism and emotional safety in situations like this:

1. Limit Personal Conversations

Keep your discussions strictly work-related. When chatting, focus on tasks, deadlines, and projects rather than personal life, hobbies, or feelings. Avoid sharing marital struggles or personal details that could deepen emotional intimacy.

2. Avoid One-on-One Social or private Situations

Try to limit situations where you’re alone with this coworker outside of normal work responsibilities. Opt for team meetings, group lunches, or casual office gatherings where the dynamic stays public and professional. Meet in public areas and never alone behind a closed door with no windows or a camera.

3. Set Mental Boundaries

Be conscious of your own thoughts and feelings. Remind yourself of your priorities—your marriage, career, and personal values. When daydreams or feelings arise, gently redirect your attention back to work tasks.

4. Keep Physical Boundaries

Even small gestures, like casual touches or leaning in too closely, can create unintended intimacy. Maintain respectful physical distance at work and avoid scenarios that could be misinterpreted.

5. Avoid Private Messaging or Social Media Connections

Keep your communication on official work channels. Avoid texting, direct messaging, or connecting on personal social media platforms. This helps prevent blurred lines between professional and personal life.

6. Engage in Professional Development and Networking

Redirect your energy toward your career growth and professional connections. Attend workshops, training sessions, or networking events. This creates healthy distractions and keeps your focus on work instead of potential workplace attractions.

7. Seek Guidance if Needed

If you notice your feelings are growing stronger or affecting your marriage or work, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. A trained therapist can help you explore your emotions, establish clear boundaries, and maintain healthy relationships. Call Bluebird Therapy Center today to speak with a licensed therapist in NJ who can guide you through this situation.

Key Takeaways

Workplace attractions are common, but acting on them—or letting them disrupt your life—can create stress, guilt, and professional consequences. By setting clear personal and professional boundaries, staying aware of your feelings, and seeking help when needed, you can maintain your integrity, your marriage, and a positive work environment.

If you’re struggling with emotions toward a coworker or want to develop stronger boundaries in the workplace, schedule a consultation with Bluebird Therapy Center in NJ. Our team specializes in relationship guidance, stress management, and professional wellness.